{Thursday, October 25, 2012} 2:39 PM
Of course the politically right answer is ''Im doing just fine". I cant possibly tell you "Im drowning, please save me i want you to care about me so badly that it hurts and it weighs heavily on my heart" That sounds abit too.... sad, with a mixture of desperation a hint of exaggeration and a primary motive of wanting to simply just seek attention.

Thing is, i just dont feel it. I dont feel the "love" that you are suppose to unconditionally give it to me. At this point, when i really need it the most with my head in a mess my emotions feel all sorts of negativity. I just want you to make me feel like im important to you, like you need me. I want to know to feel that a part of you will die if im not well if im sick if im gone.

You are suppose to give it to me. Im not asking you for it, you ARE SUPPOSE to give it unconditionally willingly or not.

My heart is so heavy, what more my eyes having to hold in all these tears that god knows where it came from.

At this time when my faith believe love care is fluctuating, i need you to be there to just show attention to seek for me and just me to give that 2 minutes of your life just for me to make me feel that i am important again.

This may all just be the trick of my mind and i should just accept reality that things will never be like before but please i am drowning in my own sadness and i cant go through these days without having to face this heaviness in my heart.
Heaviness in my mind
Heaviness in my heart and mind
that makes me feel so



ugh