I am so thankful for my religion. After my transformation i feel much more peace in my heart and this "loneliness" that i thought i felt just disappeared. I feel that i am always accompanied, guided and definitely blessed. Its been only 4 months into the year and yet i can see such a different me as compared with before. Though im still as annoying as ever, still moody/impatient/temperamental, but i've also learnt to let loose, not worry (much) and the consequences of having negative thoughts/feelings. I am definitely blessed to have been shown the light and guided to the right path and i pray that my dearest friends will experience what i've experienced... soon. Amin.
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Today one of the teachers highlighted to us about our future. He told us to explore the uni and scholarships and it seemed like such a daunting task to do. I mean, me next year in uni hahahahahaha i cant help but laugh at the idea. But there is just to much at stake now to not make it. As much as i wanna go overseas, truth is i dont believe i can do. Something i thought i'll never admit but its so true that it really is such a big obstacle for me. I dont believe that i can make it, that i can go to york and do linguistics. Or communication at leeds or uwe. Its such a depressing feeling, not being able to feel confident of your capabilities.
I had so much expectation for my future when i was younger and i never ever thought i'll be taking A's like srzly hahahah so i guess the best option to take is to study hard and tawakal and i'll be at the place that is best for me in this life and will bring peace to me in the afterlife.
If God willing.