School gave it to us at such a discounted price and since the entire city is promoting arts, its like a why-not situation. And oh my goodness it was worth my every cent even though we got the last row, like literally. And by we, i meant

So ok WICKED told us the story of before Dorothy came in and it led me to realise another perspective of the witch. She's not evil, just clearly misunderstood. It was amazing, though i felt there were scenes that made me went ''whutttttt'' especially when he found out he played a part in killing the daughter he didnt knew he had. But because everything else was amazing, this little part was overlooked. I was amazed and unable to grasp the vocal capability that each of them had, like i mean these voices existed!!! And what amazed me was of course the light, specifically the passage of light that was following the main characters around. I just wanted to grab it!!! Then also the costumes! And the songs and the dance and the plot of the story and ahhhhh just everything! Ah i'd wanna watch it again.

But the part that teared me up was of course when they sang For Good. I practically sobbed like a baby at my seat and if i was alone i think i would have wailed (exaggeration) But seriously, given the situation i am in now, I-can-relate-to-the-song and the emotions portrayed and i was like... oh god give me strength to go through this.

Hmm after that we sat outside on the stairs and watched the night come by

We then walked to where the music was coming from and spent the night there. It was a nice day despite what i was feeling inside.

Everyday i thank god for them because these girls makes the days at school bearable and with them it seems that the fight is worthy. And with them, i can atleast pretend that i dont feel these emptiness in my heart.

And you must be wondering what i wore? (or probably not, ok......)

--

I cant believe i am going through this for a second time. I thought after H, it'll be the first and last time i'll ever let go. The feeling sucked and i am amazed how i was able to go through it and not let it affect my studies, though i felt so down at that time. Now i am just starting again, building myself up to be stronger and this hits me. Its like i am angry for being like this, not changing even though i knew i should. Then i am sad because i cant save it. And then i'll laugh because it does seem funny. I mean, we fight all the time but we always get better so this time it'll get better right? Only that i dont think it will. This time, its different.

Its like the glass situation. You can break it and put it back together again like its nothing but the cracks can always been seen. Only this time you've pushed it too much that it keeps breaking over and over and over again and the pieces are just too small to be put back together again and you have no choice but to throw it away, despite how much you love and wanna keep it.

You may never know this but i suck at convincing. When i know im losing, i dont even bother to persuade anymore. I dont do reverse psychology because i dont like people doing that to me. I cant promote items to customer cus i hate to lie, or i mean not telling the whole truth. I wanna convince you that i do appreciate, that i do think of you all the time. I wanna drop you random texts to tell you how im feeling, whats happening in my life, let you in onto the little insignificant details because these are just the things i share with only just you. It kills me not being able to text you cus that time you were having doing your projects, then you were having exams, then you were just.... not answering anymore. But i know now you probably dont believe me and this seem like a bunch of reasons. Because if it was me, i wouldnt believe myself either.

And thats why i suck at convincing, because i feel that i am losing so i dont bother anymore.

But it hurts and you know i have this tendency of saying the worse things at the wrong times so i just keep quiet and waited for the text and now i am just still waiting...

My head's in a mess, my heart is almost dying and the tears are all dried up.

This is something so cheesy to be said at this age but now i realise that situations like this hurts you like shit crazy despite at what age you are.

And its called friendship.