{Sunday, January 22, 2012} 10:42 AM
When you are angry, the emotion takes over by storm. You are not able to think properly, your judgement gets super clouded. Everyone is to be blamed, the whole world should stop because look at me, IM SO ANGRY! You are never wrong, its someone else's fault. Its the whole world to be blamed. And you feel the same way when you're sad. The whole world must stop and comfort me. Dont move on without me, while im still here in such an agonizing sadness. When you're sad you want everyone to know and everyone should be at their best behaviour comforting me. Biggest similarity? When you are sad or angry, your judgement is very clouded like when it is about to rain very heavily.

After you cool down, you reflect on your lousy behaviour and scolde yourself for being such a kid and thinking what was I trying to achieve by acting that way??!!!!! You start to go down memory lane and wonder about the usual things. Like what could have happened if I acted differently? And like why didnt these people try to make me feel better? They seemed to be happy when im not happy!!

So you sit and reflect and replay that day again only now you are not the main character anymore. You are like ghost from the future, standing at the corner watching evrythg and occassionally trying to figure out what everyone else felt and took the position of the person comforting the angry/sad soul.

And then you realise.... They were comforting me afterall. But because I was so angry/sad, I couldnt see it. The only thing obvious to me was my silly feelings. It starts to sink in about how selfish you were in not wanting to overcome the anger/sadness (eventhough everyone is comforting) just because. Just because you didnt feel like it. You realise that you should have given them credit for trying to comfort you (because had it been you trying to comfort yourself, you wouldnt. other cus you know what you are like when you're angry/sad). You should have played along and then... And then at least you might have felt a little bit better.

I should have played along. And I should have given you credit. I am sorry. I appreciate your attempts but you knew very well I hated what you did. SO WHY DID YOU DO IT?