Today is the end of op and tmr the end of pw forever with the submission of the last document. But....... i dont feel any fireworks in my heart. Just normal everyday feelings, nothing that special. Maybe its because of the timetable im facing this week that has really made me so sad, very in fact, till i was late going to school for exam today. Its one of those things that you wanna avoid but you probably wont, you wanna change but you cant, the kind of things that you just have to accept and take a deep breath and just say ''ah its just one of those things i must go through with''. But i dont want that, i want every minute of my life to be meaningful not ''just going through the motion''. So listen to myself or be the responsible teenager everyone expects us to be and abide to the rules? Cant be pleasing everyone but im the one deeply affected negatively, right?
I should do things that make me happy right? Cause its not nice being sad all the time. So you try to comfort yourself, "look at the sky, look around you, so many things to smile about''. But its just not working. The issue, the small petty issue is weighing heavily on your heart and you just have no mood to do everything. And then it becomes a cycle. When you have no mood, you adopt a ''heck care, whatever happens, happens'' attitude. So you start skipping meetings, avoiding calls, locking yourself in the room, not eating anything, and your whole body responds by...... getting sick. And when you are sick, either physically or mentally/emotionally, lagi you tk de mood! Such a sick cycle.
So i should do things that make me happy right? Some alone time then, and a lot of your time