School has been crazy i cannot remember when was the last time i was this tired! When i was on my way to O's i didnt even feel this way. Its really crazy, i keep waking up in the night and think why is everything spinning (only to realise it was just my head) I srzly think the worry is eating me up- literally. But it should be over by now, only that its not. I am falling into the pit hole i promised myself i would never fall into and now it is so hard to get back up.
Enough with sounding like a common complaining tweet, moving on with life. Last week (or was it this?) i got back all my papers and things are hopefully atleast. Not that good not what i expected but i am being thankful. During the review of our paper and how we did it, what two teachers said during the lecture got my thinking. One of them talked about how they know we are tired- this time is the most critical moment of your journey, this tertiary route is not easy, you have to stay focus, YOU ARE WORKING LIKE A ROBOT. When she said this i wanted to tear up. This to me, was the most heart felt motivating talk i have received this far. All these while, these motivating talks by teachers were brushed off by me and never really register to me because i feel that they dont know what they are talking about and they dont really know how we feel. So when this teacher acknowledge the challenges and tough times we are facing, i felt like ahhh finally someone understands it! What she said really got to me and it will be a talk i'll remember for quite some time.
Next, there was this teacher who kept talking about how our health will deteriorate when we get older, how we are bound to get sicker and would need higher medical attention. Then he says about how he cant afford hospital bills if his parents has these health problems and as he was talking i was thinking why is he complaining to us whats the point of his talk? And then he laid out the logic to the lecture hall. He said that all we need to do is pay attention and not to talk. If we do so, we would be able to do exams and get to j2 and do A's and eventually get to uni and with the degree we'll be getting from uni, we're more likely to get a better job with a higher pay and probably by the time our parents need it, we'll be able to pay the medical fees. And he says, it all starts by just paying attention now. After he said that, i was like wow and since that day i've been trying very hard to focus in all lectures. I just have to keep moving on and persevere because i will see the result one day far away from now.
I will always get where i wanna be, there is no question of that. But its the journey of how i get there and whether i'll be able to reach the destination on time.