Hi idk if anyone is feeling this at the present moment but i knw i am feeling it, hopelessness): I wanna post it here so whenever i feel this feeling again, hopefully this can make me feel better. Hopefully.
By toogie2, eHow Member
The problem with hopelessness is that you stop trying. Life has proven to you over and over again that any money you save will be eaten by new expenses, any weight you lose will be gained back. It takes so dang much energy to hold onto hope sometimes - and you don't have any energy left.
At the same time, when you stop believing in a better future, you really WILL never succeed because you won't do anything. You've got to regain that hope in order to move forward. How do you get that hope back?
When it comes down to it, hope is all about having the power to help yourself. When you are powerless, you are hopeless. The secret is in finding ways to take back your power.
1 - Give up!
You need your energy back to help yourself, and you'll never get it if you keep fighting lost battles, or even battles that are just too difficult for you. Quit beating yourself up too. You may have done things to get yourself in the situation you are in, but once hope escapes, it is no longer your fault. Nor is it anyone else's fault.
The ironic thing about intentionally giving in to hopelessness is that you take its power away. When you stop pushing at it, it stops pulling at you.
2 - Lower the Bar
You already know you can't help yourself when the problem is too big, so think about the smaller things that maybe you can manage. What are the things that you can control?
If you are overweight, maybe dealing with all of your metabolism, and your habits, and your grocery budget, and your schedule and your ability to exercise is too big to take on. But maybe, just maybe, you can stop worrying about that big picture of being thin and healthy, and just think about lowering your LDL cholesterol. You help yourself with small steps, and fewer lifestyle changes. Eat more hot or cold oat cereal.
If you are absolutely out of cash, and have no hope of saving the money for something big, then start by just saving money to do something small. Save for a night at the movies, or to replace a lamp.
Hope is like a flame. It starts small and needs to be nurtured or it will blow out. But once it catches, you can feed it into something bigger. You've taken control of one thing, now look to the next. With each step, you will have more energy gained from the previous success. And if you have a set back, you can go smaller and still keep proving to yourself that you can indeed help yourself.
You already know you can't help yourself when the problem is too big, so think about the smaller things that maybe you can manage. What are the things that you can control?
If you are overweight, maybe dealing with all of your metabolism, and your habits, and your grocery budget, and your schedule and your ability to exercise is too big to take on. But maybe, just maybe, you can stop worrying about that big picture of being thin and healthy, and just think about lowering your LDL cholesterol. You help yourself with small steps, and fewer lifestyle changes. Eat more hot or cold oat cereal.
If you are absolutely out of cash, and have no hope of saving the money for something big, then start by just saving money to do something small. Save for a night at the movies, or to replace a lamp.
Hope is like a flame. It starts small and needs to be nurtured or it will blow out. But once it catches, you can feed it into something bigger. You've taken control of one thing, now look to the next. With each step, you will have more energy gained from the previous success. And if you have a set back, you can go smaller and still keep proving to yourself that you can indeed help yourself.
3 - Refocus
With the energy you regain by giving up and lowing your standards, you give yourself breathing room to more calmly think and plan about what's most important in your life.
Figure out what is sapping your hope and energy. Look at it from a calmer perspective: what things will get better if you just wait them out? (Injuries heal, kids grow up.) If you were to cut something out of your life, what would be the consequences? Don't be afraid - you don't have to take risks if you don't want to. But if you can look calmly at what you are afraid of, your mind will start to work on solutions. Possible solutions are fertile ground for hope to take root.
With the energy you regain by giving up and lowing your standards, you give yourself breathing room to more calmly think and plan about what's most important in your life.
Figure out what is sapping your hope and energy. Look at it from a calmer perspective: what things will get better if you just wait them out? (Injuries heal, kids grow up.) If you were to cut something out of your life, what would be the consequences? Don't be afraid - you don't have to take risks if you don't want to. But if you can look calmly at what you are afraid of, your mind will start to work on solutions. Possible solutions are fertile ground for hope to take root.
4 - Recruit
Finally, remember that you don't have to be alone in whatever your problem is. Maybe nobody has the resources to actually help you, but they can at least give you ideas and moral support. Odds are, though, that each of the people in your life can give you a little help here, and a little help there.
Remember that people are more likely to help you when they see you working to help yourself. When they see it, they know that you aren't just going to dump all your problems on them. And since they have an idea of what you need, they are more likely to keep an eye out for opportunities that could come your way.
It's much easier to help yourself if you have a bunch of people thinking about your problems too.
Finally, remember that you don't have to be alone in whatever your problem is. Maybe nobody has the resources to actually help you, but they can at least give you ideas and moral support. Odds are, though, that each of the people in your life can give you a little help here, and a little help there.
Remember that people are more likely to help you when they see you working to help yourself. When they see it, they know that you aren't just going to dump all your problems on them. And since they have an idea of what you need, they are more likely to keep an eye out for opportunities that could come your way.
It's much easier to help yourself if you have a bunch of people thinking about your problems too.
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