After exams, i feel so empty. Not empty as in lonely soul empty, its a good empty meaning i have a wide range of things to feel in me. I can choose to spend my days doing grad nite planning, or doing grad nite planning, or doing grad nite planning HAHA. I also choose to meet Ramly, or meet other people, or just get a book and read all week long. I loveeeeeeeeeeee having options(:
Talking about Ramly, i obviously cant say this infront of his face, its too mean lah, so im hoping he is reading this. Ramly has been such a nice fellow but now that he has a gf, it changes everythg? When im finally free, he's not cause he has to meet his gf. And even when i do get to meet him, and im telling him my problem, he changes the topic and talk about his gf. I told him i dont like it, he need me cry then he will change ah? One more chance k ly, and dont give false hope to ppl lah, you knw whats the feeling right like(AND NNT MAT DAH HABIS EXAM DIE, AKU CKP KAU, BAYANG KAU PON AKU TAK NAK TGK! :P amek kau)
Its been days since i texted luv and its good i guess. Im alrdy 15, dah young adult kan, sampai bile mau all this cinte monyet. How much more can a heart take before it really gives up and closes forever? Hopefully after his exam he'll be able to think clearer and decide what he wants, and whats best for me and him. If all goes well, i'll intro him to the whole world k, i knw you want to knw.
You know, sometimes strangers just get tooooo involve in our personal lives that it really changes our view and opinion on them. I wanna share what happened to me but i rather not, nnt ade je hati yang kecewe, nnt ade je org yg merajok dgn aku pulak.
I feel good, i feel happy. For my results, eventhough i didnt get the marks i wanted, im happy cause i gave it my best(obviously i wont say this when i get the result slip lah but wtv). I dont wanna go sec 4, i wanna stay in sec 3 and redo everythg till i see A1 on all my exam paper. But i cant go thru this, i tink i'll die ;
(imagine this)
Im at my aunty's house for raye and she ask me,
aunty: anisah how old?
me: 16
aunty: oh this year take O level? Oh good good, do your best
me: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
or maybe this.
aunty: anisah how old?
me: 16
aunty: oh this year take O level? Oh good good, do your best
make your parents proud, they work very hard to give you everything u want,
dont disappoint them, you have to pay them for all the years they nurture, care and love you.
me will be crying like f alrdy.
So you see, if a year isnt long, and i wont get this kind of comments and there'll be a guarantee it'll never be in my record that im a retainee, i wont mind being retain.
Such shits never happen, it doesnt pay to dream.
ARGH IM SO TIRED, WALKED LIKE CRAZY AT VIVO AND JUST REACH HOME AT 11.30pm AND HAVENT EAT YET.
k bye.