{Tuesday, January 6, 2009} 10:03 PM
I remind myself maybe bestfriend is coming, therefore all the moodswings all the tears. Its very stupid lah that i have to feel all this and its jst so stupid okay.

Karma has finally come arnd, and there was sadness in the eyes. People arnd asked whats wrong with me whether i am fine or what, when clearly i aint. Controlled tears all the way, keep telling myself aint worth it. Then again, whats worth it? What is really worth it? Is it worth to have a bf who jumps ship and landed in your friends ship? Is it worth it to be friends with someone who breaks your heart? The ans is obviously no right? Then why oh why do i still look at him, look for him when he's not there? Why do i listen intently to all the story she has to share bout her relationship with him? Why cant i jst shut it all out? Why why why, sometimes i wish i am jst mean.

This year resolution was to stay away from guys. But many are showing themselves? Not trying to boast but seriously WATHEFCK. Kinda scary like really, when i wanted one they are not there. When i am least interested, there they go knocking on the door. Puuuuuuuuuuhlease.

HOW DO I BE FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE WHO BREAKS MY HEART. HOW HOW HOW. I JST WANNA CURL UP AND CRY TILL I SLEEP FOR WHEN I WAKE UP, I JST WANT THIS TO BE A PART OF A NIGHTMARE THAT I WONT REMEMBER EVER AGAIN.