{Thursday, September 18, 2008} 9:43 PM
I AM DAMNIT PISSED OFF .

why is it that ppl are so kaypo ?
i admit , i myself am kaypo .
but i have learnt , that if that person doesnt wanna tell smthg ,
i back off , i get it .
but when are you ppl gonna get it !
i told you , I WILL NEVER TELL WHO IS CINTAKU .
but you guess jst dont get it eh ?
you guys jst wanna believe what ppl say bout this cintaku person eh ?
and then you guys make accusation ,
you guys make rumours .
and now , things are tearing apart btw me and him .
you guys want that to happen eh ?
wtf , geram lah eh !
no offence , i still love you guys .
but i am jst fed up with your attitudes !
i didnt admit to you who is this cintaku kan .
even when you gave me names , i kept saying no .
but you guys jst wanna rub it in eh ?
you guys wanna make it difficult for me eh ?
you jst had to say those words out loud eh ?
try to feel what i feel eh .
this relationship is btw me and him .
and we have our reasons why we dont want to tell you .
and one of them is that we knw this will happened .
i dont get you ppl lah .
you want me to cry infront of you issit ,
for you to stop ?
wlw , if that is what it takes ,
i'll do it .
but jst please , stop it ?
it has done alot of damage to this relationship ,
and i dont want because of this ,
it will lead to an end .
imagine getting dumped ,
because of what someone said .
THAT IS HOW IT FEELS OKAY !
( i wanna maki , but i cant .
cause i love you all alot .
please , understand my situation .
and i dont want this to affect our friendship eh sayangs ): )


and why do ppl jst wanna make your life difficult ,
and dont wanna tell you the truth ?
why do they always wanna lie ?
girl , you are my best friend .
ive kept this inside .
cause you are my best friend .
and i love you .
but i realised that if you are my best friend ,
i will have to tell you this .
i am a chicken , i dont dare to tell it straight to your face .
but please , hear me out .
on monday , i asked you to go sm place with me ,
but you didnt want , and u said u were tired ke ape eh ?
but when i was on the way back to class ,
you were going there with ur other bf ?
wtf ?
kate penat , tapi skrg pegi ngan die ?
i try to ignore it .
okay , maybe you were really tired ,
and u didnt wanna go .
but as the week progressed ,
i realised that you really have smthg against me ?
you cud have told me , at like 6 or smthg ,
that there wud be a possibilty you cant do the work .
but you didnt .
i had to take my own initiative to do for you .
wtf , if you had told me ,
yes , i wud like scream at you ,
but i wud forgive you .
but this , youre making it difficult to forgive .
and i knw , youre high in love .
but please , love is love , work is work , studies is studies .
can you like concentrate when youre doing the work ?
nasib aku puase tadi , klau tak mmg aku dah jerit pat kau .
i asked you to finish the work in sch , so that when u go hm u dont have to do it .
but it took you long enough to finish it ?
wtf lah dearest .
and u said u were going home .
half an hour later i was in canteen ,
and i still see you inside there ?
if i knew you didnt wanna go home at that moment ,
i wud have helped you finish the work .
but u didnt !
and you saw me , you cud have asked me to help .
but you were busy talking .
ily , youre my best friend .
i knw ive been mean to you ,
ive been like scolding and shouting at you ,
eventho youre not in the wrong .
i knw ive been blaming you for not getting the work done .
but please , tak mo involve love and studies .
cause when you do , you wont get the work done .
trust me , you dont wanna end up like me .
ily best friend .
youre the best ,
eventho sometimes you make my blood boil ):
( and no , im not talking bout you nis , eventho its in green .
youve been great dearest .
and not you too buva ,
you have done anythg wrong , yet . HAHA . )

everything has jst been so damnit sucky okay .
school and relationship of all sorts .
classmates are not helping ,
especially rose .
i knw that i jst laugh when ever he calls me the B word ,
but it hurts okay ?
i dont wanna show ,
cause i knw its not worth the effort .
but it wud be nice , if he jst stop calling me the B word .

i jst wanna go back to primary school ,
where i had less worries .
where i had only 4 subjects to concentrate .
and where i had my netball girls to rely on .
i miss you ppl .

ps ; liyana ,
thanks girl .
i knw you didnt tell them , i trust you babe .
ily .

i jst wanna cry myself to sleep ,
and hopefully when i get up ,
this will all be over .
fights between us has been taking up all my energy .
everynight , there must be smthg happening eh ?
i miss those times ,
when you were jst my Dearest Best Friend Forever ,
and when you were my hantuman .
):